real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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