would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
