my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
