And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
