too bad you live with your parents still
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Drake has all the answers
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
