I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i out mim tonsoeep
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
