Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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