we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
