ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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