whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
