She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
