have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They are going to name an STD after you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
