so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
