My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize