i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
