All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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