I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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