you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
