Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
