these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sorry about my life...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
