My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
