The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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