I am puke
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
