he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
