Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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