Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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