Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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