I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There r osticjed everywhere
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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