I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
