I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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