I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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