Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
