i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize