remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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