Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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