I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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