Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
