So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn