Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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