This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
