also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
