Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
