that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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