I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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