her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
foreskin is a definite game changer
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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