your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
