Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
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A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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