Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
do nipples grow back?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
