pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize