My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
