But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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