last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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