I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
