You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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