you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
