You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
