you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize