Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
