Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
