Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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