I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just gargled with NyQuil
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
