is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
