no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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