Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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