I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
