I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
