im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
