I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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