The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you would pick up someone in the library
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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