she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
