At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah