party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing