I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....