every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.