Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
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he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.