I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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