So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
