you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
