office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
