your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
