NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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