she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize